This means that the way we live out our sexuality as unmarried persons will find power and joy as Jesus is the focus of our deepest desires and affections. Life is about valuing God at all times and in all ways. In God’s world, Jesus is central to all aspects of life. Here are five basic principles that govern godly sexuality and which we will apply to the unmarried person:ġ. It is Jesus-centric and Jesus exalting. While there is much overlap between married and unmarried sexuality, singles’ sexuality has unique features. Godly sexuality is something that is pleasing to God, acknowledging the value of God as the giver of sex, while keeping Christ central. Sexuality involves our whole being-body and soul-and refers to how we experience and express ourselves as sexual beings. To be an embodied soul means we are image bearers that live on earth in bodies which are created with the capacity for sexual expression. It is not merely about what we are doing or not doing with our genitals! Sadly, sexuality is often reduced to a definition along these lines, but it is crucial to have a fuller understanding of it while also being honest that we are embodied souls. However, there is a profound reality of what godly unmarried sexuality is not. All who live in God’s world belong to him (Psalm 24:1, 2) and are designed and called to live a life of purity. For the married person, it means a life of purity through faithfulness. For the unmarried person, this means a life of purity through abstinence.
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Author Lauren Winner explains in Real Sex that, “…chastity is the free choice to live one’s sexual life in accord with Christian values-therefore everyone is called to live chastely” (p. Chastity is sexually lived out in a pure way it is a commitment to keep sex in its proper place. The unmarried are to strive to be sexually pure and chaste-but then so are married folks. When it comes to discussions of sexuality, singles (from the never-married teen, to the senior-something single-again, and all those in-between) are often counseled in these sorts of ways: “Don’t! Be pure! Wait! Hands off!” “Guard your heart!” “It’s really not that great anyway!” “It’s great, but it’s not for you, unless you’re ‘burning’…then get married!” Let us consider godly unmarried sexuality with three questions: What is it? How do we live it out? Why would we want to live it out? WHAT is godly unmarried sexuality? Christ offers treasures to all who seek to live in a way that is pleasing to God as image bearers who are also sexual beings, including the unmarried. Godly unmarried sexuality is more than a call to abstain from sexual activity. Because the idea of sexuality is often equated with sexual activity, those of us who are unmarried often miss the rich blessings God can pour out upon us as sons and daughters and as sexual beings. In another excellent article, “God Gives the Best Sex,” Dan Wilson explains that God’s grace for the unmarried is the key to true joy as well as living out a godly sexuality.
Ellen Mary Dykas Sexuality, Women 4 January 14, 2014
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